Stop telling “it’s difficult”: let’s cut the crap and get down to action!

I have to sincerely say that I have enough of people who, whatever solution to their problems may come up, will answer: “Yes, it would be great, but it’s difficult”. That’s crap! The real meaning of “It’s difficult” is, “I have found a comfort zone in this problems and I much prefer to stay put here, complaining and playing the victim, rather than move and take my responsibility to change my predicament”.

If this is too strong for you I am sorry, but it’s due time that we tell each other the truth. Think of the greatest upheaval in your life: when you were born. Birth is a hard time, for the mother and for the baby. It implies pain, effort, sweat, anxiety, uncertainty, you name it (it’s a very personal experience, indeed). But it’s the best moment in your life: it is when you come to exist in this amazing world. Is it worth it? I’d say yes, and with me many many people, even those who live extremely difficult lives, would say “YES“! The biggest change of your life was worth it! Would you rather have died in the womb of your mother? Because that is what happens when change does not come when it is the right moment.

Now, what happens too often when there is a situation that is uncomfortable (or inefficient, or ineffective… again you name it) and needs change? A lot of people will complain about it. So far that’s ok: you are uncomfortable in a situation, you say it “I am not well in this situation”, “I don’t like how things are going” or the like. Fine: you share with your peers what’s going on. Now what? While a few will try to do something about, a large group will prefer to keep on complaining, playing the blame-game against this or that scapegoat, or against the destiny, the government, the market, globalization, their boss, their employees, their colleagues… everyone is useful here.

Sometime they will look for help, but they are really not looking for help: they want to be confirmed that their predicament is uniquely difficult, and that there is nothing to do about, i.e. they are not responsible for the fact that things continue to go wrong. They want to be “special” in their role of victims: those who cannot be helped. You can provide them with the best approach to achieve the resolution of their problem, allow them to see that it is entirely possible, provided they do their share… You will get the same response again and again: “Oy yes, that would be so wonderful… But it’s difficult!“. They will have that “beaten cocker look” in their eyes, the one of the perfect victim (although for the dog it is just a genetic trait that makes his eyes so irresistible…) and try to manipulate you into collusion with them.

In my personal and professional life I have encountered too many of these people: I am fed up, and beginning to become harsher and harsher when I encounter such attitude.  I know that it is just the best excuse not to set down to change a situation for the better. I have met people with such difficult lives that I could hardly describe in words, and they kept going, and struggling to improve their conditions almost without complaining, but with a lot of action, and responsibility. They didn’t say “It’s difficult”: they just rolled up their sleeves and set down to work!

Even worse, people who cuddle up in their comfortable difficulties tend to sabotage everyone’s else attempt to change. They are so talented in poisoning the wells of change that all the positive energy for improvement seems to be dried up by their action. To whatever effort their colleagues make (or friends, peers, leaders, employees, consultants… you name it), they will find an objection and a justification for not acting. They are the always “Yes, but” or “Want to see more” people. Another typical argument is “What you depict is not the reality”, another version of the evergreen “You don’t understand”... and then they start telling you how bad reality is. No hint whatsoever to any attempt from them to change it for the better. It is just much easier to challenge and try to destroy any possible initiative of change that will force them to take responsibility and action than to roll up their sleeves and set to work. It is just too comfortable to sit in their shit and complain about the stench.

I know I am being strong, here. But it’s time we quit the politically correct and talk the true feelings that we have. The world needs change, humanity needs to change, corporate life needs to change. Let’s stop accepting the answer “It’s difficult”. We can challenge it simply with a counter affirmation, such as I usually do “Maybe, but IT’S POSSIBLE“. And then ask: “Do you want it?” People who hinder change because of their laziness in leaving the comfort zone have to be challenged, also for their own good. So: let’s cut the crap, and set down to spark change wherever you are and in whatever position you are: IT IS POSSIBLE. If you want help in seeing how it is as such in your own situation, just email me directly and we’ll deal with that in the most appropriate and personalized way.